Anger Management? What? Me?

I am seriously contemplating seeing a shrink to shrink my damn anger. The boredom and frustration at work is really driving me up the wall. Those who know me well would have notice a drastic change in me since 2 or 3 years back - my fuse got a WHOLE lot shorter and my swearing got a WHOLE lot louder and more frequent. I'm a heck lot more serious, sensitive, picky and annoying.

Coincidentally, when my rage and temper went off the chart, i was freaking pissed with my shitty work and pay i got from it. The same monotonous job, the endless cleaning of other people's self inflicted crap, the feeling of getting kicked around like a ball, not getting my idea accepted by the management and dealing with a bunch of stubborn dimwits has well and truly taken its toll and screwed me brain up nicely. To top it all off, and the most ironic thing about it all, is the fact that I'm still working at the same company after 9 years. Half the time i ain't got a clue what the fook made me stay - maybe subconsciously i did not realise i am digging my own grave or i actually enjoy the shitty situation (a scary thought indeed).

(frustration + disappointment + anxiety + worry) x stress [work or non-work related] / lousy social life = pure rage or hatred

The above is my theory on whats happening to my glowing hot brain. AD, before you say anything, i know you'll suggest alcohol to dose of the flames. But science has proven that alcohol burns much faster and hotter when thrown into an inferno!!! ;0P Also, i don't think filling up my drying and hole filled melon with the "happy" juices will save me any bit. I've had my fair share of puking me lungs and brains out during me college years.

Maybe, my love of football will save me but what conspired in Anfield the past season or so did nothing to elevate my inner suffering. Shitty politics and performance all round frustrated me even more. Football is one of my best escape from this angst filled life and when it ain't going according to plan, what else could be worst?

Playing football so far has been my best method to vent my frustrations out and dose off the flame in me head. Pity those who play against me though, cause they don't call me a tank for nothing ;0). Then again, the heavens up above conspired to turn me into a fooking Harry Kewell. I've got an injury list so long, it'll filled up an entire file cabinet.

Albeit all this inner turmoil i found a bunch of unkers, young punks and fellow football and fun loving guys and gals through the net. Really appreciate their company and our crazy method of talking cock and exchanging idea through each others' blog. Hey! What better way to virtually scream all your frustration , crazy thoughts and fears so that it can be heard? It's free and people will respond in the virtual world. What more can you ask for? Thank goodness for the internet and blogging!

Lately, i've found another method to vent my anger, thanks to the pretty huge amount of moolah i paid to Sony for my unit of PlayStation 3. Didn't realise my nearly psychotic mind actually enjoys thrashing the shit out of a game controller using my fingers in some rather violent games. Eureka! What better way to soothe and relax me head than crashing cars and shooting people up in Grand Theft Auto 4? How about playing the role of a trained killer in the form of an SAS operative killing terrorists in Call of Duty 4? And best of the lot, play a footie game and thrash the scums and rent boys with a score of 10-0 with Torres scoring triple hat tricks in PES 2008?

Thanks for reading my pointless rumblings and what nots. Hope you'll have a good laugh about it (on my expense) and help you go through the hazardous monotonous life back in the real world. Maybe you'll see it in a whole new light, and think that hey i'm not alone! There are other weirdos and slightly nuts people out there - case in point being myself. ;0)

AD, so far i am still keeping my promise to talk cock er...... i mean update me blog on a "sustained and timely" basis. Muahahahahahaha!

-JonC-